life coaching

A Big Decision & She Speaks Conference Takeaways

Have you ever been desperate for a clear sign from God?  I’m talking, short of His voice booming from the clouds with your next step level of clarity, you just can’t be sure?  I talked about the freedom of not needing to choose well every time, when I wrote Steps In Faith a short time ago… but even with the knowledge that my Creator can use well despite my ability to always choose well, I fell into the “I want to make the rightest right choice” trap.

Hard.

Again.

It’s not wrong to want to be right.  But it can be a source of internal conflict when we try to make our decisions based on our own abilities and understanding, without relying on the power of the Holy Spirit to guide us and make every choice beneficial somehow.

You may know that I’ve been debating between full-time on campus schooling or full time writing, this fall, and I thought I knew what God wanted for me.  I tried to reason my way out of dedicated writing time, by thinking of all of the things that I didn’t know and could learn as a student.  And all of those things I thought of?  They were true.  They were real.  They justified the time and energy and money that would go into my college education.

I took all of the right steps, did all of the right things, applied, and signed, and had credits transferred, and financial aide set up… I sought the counsel of godly, amazing women whom I love and trust to have my best interests at heart…I turned to my husband and got his approval and support over and over again… yet I couldn’t shake this nagging feeling that something wasn’t right.

I didn’t have peace with my decision.

Now, hear me when I say, it wasn’t that I was scared of, unsure of, or uncomfortable with  my decision.  I mean, I was all of those things, but that wasn’t the source of the non peace.  The source, as far as I can tell, was the Holy Spirit.

And because I feel like I can trust my perception of God’s voice being pressed upon my heart, I’ve decided to follow the prompt, forgo school, and focus entirely on my writing. 

#CanIGetAnAmen?

Last month, I wrote a blog post about deciding to go to school.

This month, I write to tell you that I’m not.

Someone asked me if I’m running away from school out of fear.

I would argue I was running to school out of fear of writing.

On June 20, I wrote these words in my personal journal:

“What’s holding me back {from school}?  Is it the devil, in an attempt to keep me from going where God wants me to go?  Or is it God gently discouraging me from committing because of the better plans He has lined up for my life?  Is it self-doubt or Holy Spirit holding me back?  Is it an act of obedience {to go}, a step in faith because it doesn’t feel quite right to me… or an act of disobedience {to go} because I’m not trusting Him fully with my gift of writing?

I feel a desperate need to write.  I’ve always felt it.  And I don’t feel a call to school beyond my own desire to validate myself.”

Why am I sharing all of this with you?  I doubt very much that you’ve been hanging on the edge of your seat, waiting to hear my decision.  No, I’m not sharing so that you can pencil my schedule into your planner and keep up with the Bresslers… I’m sharing because of something extremely important I learned during this process:

Be careful how many voices you invite into your life decisions. 

I asked each person who gave me advice to give me advice.  I trust each voice, I know each one, and I believe every opinion vocalized had my best interests at heart.  These were good, solid, trustworthy voices.  But sometimes, the more voices you have speaking into your ears, the harder it is to hear the one whispering into your heart. 

1 Kings 19:11-12 reminds us, 

“The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.  After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire, came a gentle whisper.”

Seeking godly counsel is important and often necessary.  But never let any voice be louder or more weighty than the one you hear on the inside. 

The She Speaks Conference helped redirect me back to that internal knowing, the one that said, “You were created to share your story so stop running and start sharing.”

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The conference was exactly what I needed to be reminded of one important truth that I had been ignoring as I planned for my future:

I don’t need to be a bible scholar to be a Jesus freak!  

#CanIGetANOTHERAmen?

There were so many moments of enlightenment at the conference, that at least twenty future blog posts will be born from, but let me just share a few of my favorites without too much elaboration.

  • Go be nice to your old self.  Go do for others what you would have wanted someone to do for you. (Karen Ehman)
  • Jesus could have chosen anyone, but he called the uneducated fisherman because it was about Him, not them. (Wendy Pope)
  • Walking in your calling and being comfortable in your calling don’t always go hand in hand. (Lynn Cowell)
  • Your job is to brighten the room with the light of Jesus. (Pastor Chris Hodges)
  • The woman at the well didn’t wait for a formal education before she spread the Good News.
  • If you want to build the Kingdom, go home and love your church. (Whitney Capps)
  • Write like it’s your job before it is your job and it will become your job.
  • Do the next thing He calls you to do- if you do what He asks of you today, He’ll make a way for your tomorrows. (Susie Larson)
  • Don’t count your numbers because they all count to God. (Liz Curtis Higgs)

The one liners don’t even do the seminars justice, my friend.  But it’s all just. so. dang. good.

I’ve got so many ideas in store for the upcoming fall, I feel completely free of obligation to satisfy ideals, I know my decision is an act of obedience and a complete step of faith in trusting God with my future, and I am confident that aside from Raegan starting kindergarten and leaving me lonely (sniffle sniffle) this autumn is going to be beyond my wildest imagination sort of good!

Do you find it hard to hear God’s voice above all of the chatter around you or do you consider yourself in tune with the Holy Spirit’s prompts? 

 

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2 thoughts on “A Big Decision & She Speaks Conference Takeaways”

  1. AMEN! That’s GREAT news and I’m beyond excited for you. You are a true writer, so talented in your expression. You must write because despite the million other reasons, I want to read more! And please write that book because I need to read that too!!

    Like

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